Do you get sweaty palms or an increased heartbeat just by thinking about negotiating something? Or are you a seasoned negotiator who loves to broker deals? Whether you are a novice at negotiating, never negotiate or love to negotiate anything, taking negotiation skills training will improve your life in ways you may not have expected.
If you don’t feel like you need negotiation skills training, because you rarely negotiate anything, this is the exact reason why you should. If you don’t think you negotiate, it is because you don’t realize that everything is actually a negotiation AND you are missing out on several places in your life where you could negotiate something better for yourself. Maybe it is as minor as a room upgrade in a hotel or something more major like buying a new car. Either way, you are missing out on the vast possibilities where you can really get some wonderful opportunities for yourself. Getting negotiation training will suddenly open your eyes to a world of new possibilities. You will truly enjoy seeing the world from this fresh, new perspective.
The Novice Negotiator
If you like to negotiate but get anxious or nervous when it comes time to negotiate, you simply need to learn some powerful techniques and strategies to get to a win. Reading about strategies or watching videos on how to negotiate better is similar to learning how to skateboard by reading a book about it. The only way to improve your skills is to jump into a training where you role-play with other fellow negotiators. There is so much value to taking a class with others. Not only do you get to practice, but you also get to observe others. You can learn techniques by watching how other people negotiate. You also get direct feedback from your role-play partner, which is invaluable. How often does anyone ever get direct feedback from someone they negotiated with?
Practicing your negotiation or difficult conversation prior to having a real conversation will set you up for success. You will have formed the words with your mouth, so they will come more naturally. Your brain will have processed the logic and reasoning so that you can make your arguments more clear. You will have thought through responses to difficult questions, so you will feel more comfortable. Practicing is everything.
The Tired Parent
So many parents don’t want to negotiate with their kids because it is exhausting. It is only exhausting because you don’t have the tools to outwit your kids. If you find that you are arguing with your kids too frequently or they are wearing you down daily, you might want to brush up on your negotiation skills. A parent who is deft at negotiations can provide a solid framework for parent-child relationships. The conflicts get minimized and the fighting simply goes away. Who wouldn’t want that kind of household?
There is another great benefit to learning how to negotiate with your kids. You end up teaching them to become great negotiators. That way, when they leave home, they are very equipped to negotiate their first jobs, salaries, home purchases, and anything else that comes their way. Adults who are gun shy about negotiation or don’t feel confident about how to do it typically come from households where their parents also were not good at negotiations. Consequently, they were not able to pass along negotiation skills to their children. If you open yourself up to learning negotiation skills to use with your kids, you will be surprised to find that you will experience fewer conflicts and be able to work out most conflicts via a win-win solution. Again, I ask, who wouldn’t want that kind of household?
The Seasoned Pro
If you negotiate regularly, you may wonder why you should invest in negotiation skills training. Well, does an Olympic athlete stop training, because they have gotten to where they are now? No. Negotiation is the type of skill where there is always room for improvement. No matter how often you negotiate, you can be better. What can negotiation skills training do for a seasoned negotiator? It can help you see other ways to negotiate. Training can help you to be more creative when you are negotiating. It can also help you to become a master at finding a win-win.
No matter how good of a negotiator someone is, emotions can still get in the way. The amygdala shuts the logic and reasoning part of the brain down. In my 8-week Negotiation Academy, participants gain self-awareness of how it feels when anger and frustration creep into the brain. They also role-play getting back out of that upset place to be able to function and negotiate fully again. The most skilled negotiator in business may still fumble when it comes to negotiating personal situations. This is because the emotions hinder their ability to execute as well as when they are thinking clearly and not nearly as emotional.
The Confident Negotiator
The best thing of all when it comes to role-playing difficult conversations or negotiations is that your confidence gets boosted. When you feel more confident and prepared, the sweaty palms and rapid heartbeat go away. So many of my negotiation students feel anxiety a full hour before class. But they brave those feelings to show up and stretch themselves. They move outside of their comfort zones. Simply by showing up, they are already getting better. The more they show up, the more they practice. The more they practice, the less nervous they become. In the end, it is a skill that everyone should possess.
Consider taking my one-hour introductory negotiation class to see exactly what I mean. It’s free. It just helps so much to role play and get feedback.
Someone recently asked me how I would negotiate with someone else who is also a strong negotiator. My answer to that is if two people truly are excellent negotiators, it is not about how to beat the opponent. It is about two skilled people who know how to look for interests that benefit both sides, as well as bargaining chips to use to trade. Ultimately, you can get to a win-win solution. You ideally should want to work with another strong negotiator, because it ensures that you will more than likely broker a solid deal.