Did you ever wonder why use a parenting coach?
People may not understand that during times of crisis a parenting coach might be beneficial. Instead, you might turn to a therapist to help you process and get a grip on your emotions, so you can get back on track.
Likewise, you might send your kids to a therapist to give them a caring adult to talk to. You might wonder if you use a parenting coach, doesn’t that mean that you are fundamentally not a good parent?
That kind of thinking comes from the belief that parenting is innate—that we are born knowing how to do it instinctively.
That’s just not true. Parenting is a skill. It can be taught, learned and practiced.
We used to learn it from parents, friends and caring neighbors. Today we are too busy and isolated to confer with others. That’s why there are now parenting coaches.
Experience of people in our community goes a long way towards supporting us as parents. At the same time, knowing research on best practices makes us better parents.
Is there such a thing as a better parent?
Yes! Almost fifty years of research on parenting styles shows that children with “authoritative” parents thrive at higher rates when compared to other parenting styles.
Authoritative parenting is characterized by both having high expectations for your kids and interacting with lots of warm approval.
Authoritative parents move their children towards self-regulation, independence and achieving their best with lots of encouragement, faith in their children’s ability to learn and clear reasons for how their standards will benefit their kids in the long run.
Authoritative parents know how to
- set limits kindly but firmly
- listen to their children so their children will listen to them
- get their kids to do chores without battles
- balance giving their children freedom with keeping them safe
- understand what their kids want now and what is good for them or the family in the long run
Parenting coaches like me help parents master these kinds of skills.
Additionally, during a divorce, parents come to me to learn how to
- explain divorce to their children
- prepare their children for the changes coming up
- structure family life when either kids or the parents are coming and going
- co-parent peacefully even when you don’t feel peaceful
By Elisabeth Stitt