Negotiating with your kids


So many parents are busy googling ways to stop negotiating with their kids. I am here to tell you that you SHOULD negotiate with your kids. Use negotiation skills to resolve family conflicts. Ensure that you are better at it than they are, and that you arm yourself with all the tools and strategies in order to have a successful negotiation. Learn the proper strategies in order to teach your kids to negotiate as well. 

Now, you may be thinking, “Why would I want my kids to be able to out-negotiate me?” Negotiation is a critical skill for everyone to possess. Too often, parents neglect teaching their children this important life-skill. In an effort to parent judiciously and efficiently, they routinely discourage their kids from negotiating. In doing so, they are depriving their kids of a skill they will need at every turn as an adult.


Women especially frequently accept the first offer when looking for a job. When they accept that initial offer, they are leaving money on the table. Men typically negotiate even for their very first jobs. This discomfort in negotiation leaves women making almost three-quarters of a million dollars less than men over a lifetime of a career. The list of big and small negotiations that can change the course of people’s lives is long: job negotiations, real estate purchases, car sales, negotiations over promotions and raises, domestic chore negotiations, and so many more.


In order to be properly prepared for entering the adult world, kids need to practice their negotiation skills with their parents, peers, and teachers. They need to learn to advocate for themselves as well as listen to people who are representing a different viewpoint. They should know how to address the opposing viewpoint while getting others to see their perspectives. Excelling at negotiating takes diligence and regular practice. Parents need to see that the time they feel they are wasting negotiating with their teenager is actually precious learning time, preparing their children for success in the future.

If you need tips on negotiating with your kids, check out Alice’s newest book, Negotiating with Your Kids”.